Youngstown, OH

A weary Hillary Clinton stood before a depleted group of supporters in the large conference room at the Holiday Inn in Youngstown, OH. She assured the crowd that she would stay-the-course while focusing on the poor economy despite a shoe-string budget that had her waking up this Tuesday morning in the Super 8 Motel across the street.

Adding insult to injury, Bill Clinton informed attendees of a Merrill Lynch executive dinner he was hired to speak at, that he has changed his endorsement from Hillary to Illinois Senator Barack Obama.

"Since I have been living in New York City, I have been happy publishing books and doing basic ex-Presidential duties from my office in Queens.  I really don't want to go back to Washington,"  stated Clinton from the ball-room of the Manhattan Four-Seasons, "My office employs 92% African-Americans and I have taken nicely to my new assistant Monisha."

It is unlikely that Mrs. Clinton was aware of her husbands words as she tried to breath hope into a campaign that has lost 10 straight caucus states.

"These days I'm into the brown-sugars,"  continued Clinton referring to a string of eleven young, black assistants who have worked in his uptown office over the past six years.  

"I have a humidor full of black and mild cigars that I smoke with them regularly...now why would I want this to change?"  Clinton inquired of Merrill Lynch Director of Investment Strategy, Virgil Colbert,  "I'm giving my endorsement to Barack Obama...he can make all the changes he wants."

Clinton concluded his meeting by describing how Monisha uses a butter-churn motion on the base of his cock while sucking wildly on the tip during hand-jobs and that he would not be answering any questions from the press.

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