Week Two: Chmalyeh {Bang, Punch; Slam, Wallop!}

Did the old Jew call it or what?  What a hutzpah!  An epic battle between Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer ended with five-time Wimbledon winner being knocked off by suspect 'missing-link', Rafael Nadal. 

Serena screams her kaddish {mourner's prayer} as her slender older sister slams past her in the 2008 Championship match. On her game, Venus' 129 mph serve had Serena kasokeh {cross-eyed} from the opening set. An easy two-set win sent a modest V Williams to her fifth Wimbledon title.

Week One:  Afh yenems tukhes is gut sepatchen {A slap on the ass from behind}   !

The top seeded women see upset from relative unknowns. Ana Ivanovic, maidel mit a vayndel {pony-tailed nymph} is defeated in two sets by China's Jie Zheng. Maria Sharapova might have a better chance earning money in London's red-light district, the nafka {whore} losing in the second round against unranked Russian Alla Kudryavseva. Oy via, this woman's bracket will be filled with alter bok {goats} and shvooga {derogatory term}...nothing for a man to girk {masterbate} to. This galitsainer {native Hebrew} has his gelt {money} on Serena Williams.

Gloib Mir {believe me}, the men's singles are as shaken up as the womens.  Novak Djokavic was knocked out by Russian Marat Safin.  Safin (whom I was informed by a shikker {drunk} in the pub is rumored to have abilities to win it all) played an impressive match versus ranked Andreas Seppi to advance into the semi's.  US shvartze {black} James Blake disappointed as did Andy Roddick, showing the US Men's team a shmeckle {small penis} in the light of the world stage.  Favored Swiss, Roger Federer looked a bulvan {man built like an ox} and in good form to win his fourth Wimbledon title.  Only Rafael Nadal, who was recently discovered to be the 'missing link' might show competetive.  Es ken gemolt zein {it is conceivable} that Nadal might show up in a bout reminicent of last year's epic battle, but a round 2 match between Ernests Gulbis showed he was a lominer gaylen {clumsy fool} despite his recent genetic awareness.

Off to the pub...for those gentile {non-Jewish person} who desire to follow-up on this story, 'Week 2' will be completed end of tournament.  For those who dislike my coverage, Enschultig meir! {Excuse me!}      

Please post a comment below and check out the SLIDE SHOW for additional photos (some sexy Ivanovic stills).

French Open Coverage 2008 : http://www.socoolaz.com/article.cfm?articleID=30219

Australian Open Coverage 2008 : http://www.socoolaz.com/article.cfm?articleID=30113

Jacob Toland reporting from London, England...the Wimbledon Championship.  Cheers, er - mozel tov!