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Republican voting changed to Wednesday, November 5th
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In response to record voter turn-out expectations, the Federal governement has issued a last minute change to election rules and regulations. Those voting Democrat are to arrive at polling locations Tuesday, November 4th between the hours of 7AM-7PM. Those voting Republican are to arrive at polling locations Wednesday, November 5th between the hours of 7AM-7PM.
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Ashley Todd suffers repeated abuse from the Democrats, much to the chagrin of the McCain camp
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Ashley Todd, a loyal Texas Republican campaign manager for the McCain/Palin ticket is baffled by the repeated abuse admistered to her by the Democratic National Committee (and it's representatives) in an effort to silence her political agenda.
"It was an African-American who assaulted me. 6'4" tall. He stole my sixty dollars and carved a 'B' for Barack onto my cheek..."
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New McCain ad running in battleground states.
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C.R. Duke reporting from Denver at the DNCC
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My urine is a dirty yellow, something you might see in a swimming pool that has sat without chemicals two weeks too long. I notice this as I urinate on the side of a Denver Police mobile trailor that has been set up outside Invesco Field. It is late afternoon and the sun is going down over the mountains...Denver. I hate this puss-bag of a city, only memorable for its sex trade...and the kind bud.
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Obama drops a bomb. Jimmie JJ Walker to be Vice Pres-O-Dent!
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Barack Obama announced his vice presidential running mate by simply texting, "Good times, this election is going to be DYNOMITE!" Barack Obama has put comedian Jimmie "JJ" Walker on the democratic ticket as his running mate.
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The Presidential candidate parlays millions of supporters by offering free pitas and Grolsch
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Presidential candidate Barack Obama offered the German people free Dönerkebaps, Germany's top selling fast food chain in exchange for their attendance to a rally taking place in Berlin. "I had no idea that Chris Brown was doing a day-time concert," chirped a 16 year old German hip-hop fan.
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Jackson outlines new birth-control method, 'Cut his nuts out!'
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A taped interview with Rev Jesse Jackson outlines a new birth control method that he plans to roll-out if Senator Barack Obama becomes President of the United States. "I'm going to cut his nuts out!" proclaimed the outspoken Jackson. Obama representative responds.
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Drinking with American Indians before claiming Indiana Jones endorsement, offending the Native American community
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Mount Rushmore, SD- In a speech addressed before two-hundred fifty Native American Indians as well as the stone effigy of four former Presidents, Hillary Clinton claimed blockbuster star Harrison Ford has endorsed her for President of the United States this coming election despite protest from the Native American community that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull crosses racial boundaries.
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