"Chop me out a good one Mr Vice President...I like my first line to punch me in the face!"  exclaimed James Crowley, the Cambridge Police Sargent who has been at the center of a heated race debate since the arrest of Henry Louis Gates, Jr. in his own home just two weeks ago. In an adjascent white house office, President Barack Obama passes Professor Gates a smoking crack pipe as he exhales smoke that might resemble the exhaust from one of the trade-in cars from his failed Cash For Clunkers program.  "Where is that jive ass cop Mr President?" asked a tense Gates before taking his turn on the glass dick.

SoCoolAZ.Com has obtain exclusive rights to this mock interview with Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas in regards to the appointment of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court.

"I've heard that Sonia likes to fuck," opens Justice Thomas who is wearing khaki pants and a button down polo this Sunday afternoon in Missouri, "I've certainly contemplated what that wild wet-back bush might look like garnishing my Diet Coke."